tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post4657628369485503133..comments2024-03-28T03:13:28.585-04:00Comments on Beauty, and What It Means: You're Not Pretty Enough: Excerpt and GiveawayAutumn Whitefield-Madranohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-61616882073176406892015-02-04T17:44:09.078-05:002015-02-04T17:44:09.078-05:00vvhappysugarlifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07888555973394463720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-3969012627775610772013-10-30T14:28:29.869-04:002013-10-30T14:28:29.869-04:00When I was about 16 years old, I read this and I b...When I was about 16 years old, I read this and I believed he was talking about me and I still believe it on many days: <br /><br />15%<br /><br />she tries to get things<br />out of men<br />that she can't get<br />because she's not<br />15% prettier<br /><br />- Richard Brautigan<br /><br />And I believed that was my fate and I don't get things that other women get in abundance. Because I'm not 15% prettier.<br /><br />I'm doing fairly well shedding a lot of that feeling (at 51, mind you), but some days are not as good as others.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-77252936511684850842013-10-17T16:15:40.084-04:002013-10-17T16:15:40.084-04:00Hey Laura! Congratulations—you won one of the two ...Hey Laura! Congratulations—you won one of the two copies of "You're Not Pretty Enough." (I loved your point about it being a call to action.) Send me your mailing address at the.beheld.blog at gmail dot com and we'll get a copy sent your way.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-26711240966210156212013-09-26T09:07:43.972-04:002013-09-26T09:07:43.972-04:00I realize I veered off course a bit..."feelin...I realize I veered off course a bit..."feeling" pretty and "thinking" you're pretty is not the same as winning the genetic lottery of looks and actually being "pretty enough." But then again, looks being subjective and all, I think one's own perception of their looks is important in this querry. Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03015898334721960589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-19573006407324572412013-09-26T09:04:11.454-04:002013-09-26T09:04:11.454-04:00Well, I realize I am a day late, but I still want ...Well, I realize I am a day late, but I still want to weigh in on this question so I shall!<br /><br />"Not pretty" is cut and dry and final sounding. "not pretty enough" is like a carrot being dangled in front of a rabbit. Little does the rabbit know she's allergic to carrots but that's OK cuz she'll never actually catch it! But let's make her think she could if she really tried and that if she doesn't it's because she sucks at life. <br /><br />"NOT PRETTY ENOUGH" is a statement, a thought, a figment, a wisp, a feeling, an experience, and a reality that has haunted me since puberty. <br />I am not an unattractive person but as enough balding old men told me when I was trying to do the acting thing, I'm "plain" and "would be sexier if I lost weight" and that "there are a zillion girls out there with my look" so... <br /><br />With the right amount of sleep, exercise, macronutrients, calories and make-up, I can pull of a look that many would define as "pretty" or "hot"...but that boils down to a whole lot of work on my end in effort to make the "not enough" go away. It makes me feel like I have some responsibility to the world to make myself pretty enough! It makes me feel like something is missing and that it's my fault. It's like salt in the wound. It's damning. It's a life sentence of never measuring up. It's ORDINARY. <br /><br />"Not pretty enough" holds a false hope that if I do, or say, or get, or make, or develop, or lose, or eat, or follow, "X," then I WILL be pretty (enough). <br /><br />And then what? <br /><br />That's why it's a false hope because what would change if I were pretty enough? What would my life look like that it doesn't now? Would I be famous? Would I be rich? Would I have a better education? There is that carrot again...if ONLY I had this one metric of success under my belt, the PRETTY, then my life would be.....<br /><br />WHAT? That's my question...what would life be like if we all thought we were pretty ENOUGH? <br /><br />Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03015898334721960589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-31417699931604857202013-09-22T16:12:23.150-04:002013-09-22T16:12:23.150-04:00Pretty vs not pretty enough....... In my opinion, ...Pretty vs not pretty enough....... In my opinion, being pretty or not pretty would be in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is pretty, beautiful in their own way, inside and out. There is no preset standard. Certain actors, persons in the media are pretty to some people and not others; just like everyday people. I personally feel I am pretty but I also know there are people who would consider me not pretty, and I'm OK with that, mainly because I'm OK with me and everyone is entitled to their opinions. <br /><br />That word 'enough' leads me to ask questions similar to Jen: not pretty enough for who? for what? Is there a pretty criteria, a pretty quota that needs to be fulfilled? If so, can anyone ever fill that criteria? Who sets the criteria? Were we put on this earth to live until we become pretty enough? If we attain this 'goal', then what? It is as if voids need to be filled when you're discussing who's not pretty enough and would love to know to whom those voids belonged. Recently, I've felt not pretty enough as my estranged husband continues to carry on a relationship I knew of before our split and still not acknowledge it to me or our son. I think and have thought I must not have been pretty enough for him. Then I remember how nothing is/was enough for him - toys, cars, jewelry, electronics, compliments, pats on the back. I, or our marriage was just a casualty of his voids. I don't think any of us are here to fill voids in others, nor is our purpose to strive to be pretty enough. Let's work on being ourselves, and becoming comfortable in our own skin, prettiness be damned!<br />Kinda FCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-44215205619933810002013-09-16T09:36:47.659-04:002013-09-16T09:36:47.659-04:00The phrase not pretty enough, to me, is like a cal...The phrase not pretty enough, to me, is like a call to action. You've got work to do. You've got to make more of an effort, use this product, avoid those foods, do this exercise - then, someday, you might just be enough. If not, you just have to try harder. It can feel like you're constantly working to get "better", to be prettier, and it's easy to forget everything else you are.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04983752357901423405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-46325839851711621172013-09-15T17:13:26.979-04:002013-09-15T17:13:26.979-04:00Amazing! I hadn't heard of Jennifer's blog...Amazing! I hadn't heard of Jennifer's blog until now, but I definitely want to hear more. She is an amazing storyteller.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03703150053201639138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-76611513119882962312013-09-14T19:49:29.895-04:002013-09-14T19:49:29.895-04:001. I need this book!
2. I have had a crush on Jon ...1. I need this book!<br />2. I have had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi since 8th grade!<br />3. The phrase "not pretty enough" makes me cringe! I (luckily) have never had it directed at me (But if you ever do a post on when ignorant folks say someone is not "Black" enough" I'm your girl). But, what it boils down to is someone else's preconceived notion of beauty being projected on to you. I used to have a friend who was plus size. Before she did the gastric bypass, she was hilarious. I think she felt she had to be. To make up for not being smaller. But, what people need to realize is that there is only one them. THAT is what makes them special. They are their own type of beautiful. Not pretty enough is certainly not worse than not pretty at all. If you are made to feel totally devoid of any sort of attractiveness... I don't think you are sitting there wondering the same things as someone who is made to feel mediocre.melkelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02195874519087150329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-82009814676729632472013-09-12T11:50:37.505-04:002013-09-12T11:50:37.505-04:00Is that really a picture of the author!? Wow! (I w...Is that really a picture of the author!? Wow! (I wish I had been a teen in the 80s! Alas...). <br /><br />Her relationship to Jon Bon Jovi is similar to my quest to get Tom Hiddleston to fall in love with me. I just hope I am not struck mute when I meet him (though I probably will be). T.T <br /><br />[ What does the phrase "not pretty enough"—as opposed to "not pretty"—mean to you? ]<br /><br />To be labeled as "not pretty" is considerably more definitive than "not pretty enough". The enough part allows room for the person to try and reclaim whatever pretty there is left to have. When you're just flat out not pretty, there's a feeling (and understanding) that you can't overcome that and you're kinda screwed. <br /><br />But I think that's where my analysis ends because I've never - personally - created a difference between the two ideas. For me, I've known I wasn't pretty since childhood, and privately couldn't wait until I was a teen so I could hit puberty (and then I'd be so attractive and all the boys who were mean to me growing up would feel bad!). <br /><br />That didn't happen. I didn't blossom into this tall, curvy Goddess who could command a room. I just stayed small, thin and flat-chested (similar to the physique I had as a kid)and that was that. <br /><br />To me, not being pretty/not being pretty enough are really just the same thing. When you're not pretty (or for some people, feel that they're not pretty), there's a scramble to redefine yourself in ways that make you comfortable. The whole Body Love "movement" is about this very thing: how do we talk about beauty so that it includes more people (though it still necessitates beauty as a key component to healthy living, which I disagree with). <br /><br />To not be pretty already implies that you're not enough in some capacity because as a culture (both global and nationally), being considered beautiful by other people is considered a cornerstone of life. If you don't try to make yourself pretty, or if you don't talk about yourself as if you're a pretty person, then people think there's something wrong [with you]. <br /><br />This is something I've encountered in my life when I describe myself as ugly. I lack any sort of fundamental prettiness, but I also lack any desire to pursue prettiness for the sake of prettiness (and self-esteem is comprised of the Self, which is more than just the body). But people are routinely uncomfortable - often demanding to see my picture to confirm my self-talk (as if their opinion about my body is more important than my own. It's not) or some other nonsense. <br /><br />The very act of not being pretty already suggests that you're not enough - which is why some women mostly focus on their smarts or accomplishments if they don't think they're pretty. It's a way of making up for that. For me, it's about realizing that you are enough, even if you're not pretty. <br /><br />So I guess to me, the phrases don't really mean anything. I just operate from this space of already knowing I'm not pretty [enough] so then the question becomes: what's next and how can I not let that stop me from pursuing what (or who) I want? Tatianahttp://drivenbytatiana.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-16134296870840364462013-09-12T10:59:27.084-04:002013-09-12T10:59:27.084-04:00This must be a great book.
What happens if I tak...This must be a great book. <br /><br />What happens if I take the pledge? Rebekah Jauntyhttp://www.jauntydame.comnoreply@blogger.com