tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post5540857096866074715..comments2024-03-28T03:13:28.585-04:00Comments on Beauty, and What It Means: Say Cheese: On Smiling, Comfort, and SurrenderAutumn Whitefield-Madranohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-11655681952841033462015-09-01T23:22:46.174-04:002015-09-01T23:22:46.174-04:00201592dongdong
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If it was me I would be reporting it to facebook and have it removed. Just wanted you to know.<br /><br />www.facebook.com/sarina.samms.5Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06147669431188644465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-74807208412969177972012-02-13T12:10:29.443-05:002012-02-13T12:10:29.443-05:00Thank you! It's a pleasure to meet you. And ut...Thank you! It's a pleasure to meet you. And utterly agreed about embracing and accepting the changes that come with our age, as tempting as it may be to fight it. Nobody looks good when they're trying to be something they're not...and I'm not 25!Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-91097678184808368192012-02-13T09:28:26.197-05:002012-02-13T09:28:26.197-05:00I found your blog indirectly through a post on the...I found your blog indirectly through a post on the Style Crone, and really enjoyed this post. As a blogger who posts photos of myself on my blog, and who has never liked how I look in photos (major teeth issues), I've realized that my attempts to arrange my face for photos are often less than successful, and it's better if I just let it go. It's become more of an issue as I age, and see that the jawline is softer, the lines deeper, and I am less than thrilled about it. In the end, our face reflects our life lived, joys and sorrows, and it's better to embrace and accept it instead of fight with it. And perhaps adopt a big cheesy grin once in a while...Forest City Fashionistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04428940427287921203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-25731303782964473202012-02-10T11:05:27.530-05:002012-02-10T11:05:27.530-05:00Anne, I've never found your smiley photos to l...Anne, I've never found your smiley photos to look weird in the least! Though maybe the smile you're referring to isn't the one you post on your blog? In any case, maybe doing the old laughing trick might work for you--thinking of something that's so funny you can't help but laugh. It'll be a different kind of smile, maybe one you're ultimately more comfortable with? But I suspect that the detractions you see are only detractions for you. Certainly that was the case for me.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-66303187605700004902012-02-10T09:26:22.094-05:002012-02-10T09:26:22.094-05:00Hey, sorry for the late reply to this one! Thought...Hey, sorry for the late reply to this one! Thought-provoking insights here. I struggle with very unnatural & uncomfortable photos, too. My biggest, toothiest, most genuine smile causes my face to scrunch up, my gums to show, and my forehead lines to jump. One of my eyes also practically closes. I like these photos from a distance, because they look happy, but when it comes to BIG, up-close outfit photos for the blog.... yikes! But you have me thinking that maybe I should stop fighting it. Could I ever learn to accept these photos? I'm not sure. I hope so.AnPhibianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14308541800877192868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-33603480997281088872012-01-30T11:02:56.454-05:002012-01-30T11:02:56.454-05:00Anonymous, that's a great point. It totally ma...Anonymous, that's a great point. It totally matters who's behind the camera, and in some ways their own attitude about being photographed can come out too. My friend who told me the big fake cheesy smile story that jump-started my new "photo face" is very comfortable posing for photographed (not so comfortable with candid shots), and whenever she takes pictures of me I inevitably look better if I'm posing. It's like the vibe comes off or something. And that's sweet about your boyfriend being more relaxed/happier with you behind the camera! My boyfriend is the same--inevitably uncomfortable with someone else, but in our portraits together (of the extended-arm-turned-around-snapshot variety) he's got a big smile.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-38662206686183810612012-01-29T11:13:25.510-05:002012-01-29T11:13:25.510-05:00Thanks for this post! I can totally relate and wil...Thanks for this post! I can totally relate and will try to get over my crooked teeth and just smile.<br /><br />It's amazing how the camera can pick up the stiffness and insecurities (or lack thereof). Sometimes it depends who is behind the camera too. When I'm with a stranger or my sister (she has seen it all lol) I am WAY more relaxed because I don't care if the picture is bad and they see it. With other people it makes me way uncomfortable and I tense up, as stupid as it is.<br /><br />I noticed that when I take pictures of my boyfriend, I most often get a very soft expression and sweet smile from him. When his friends take pictures he always looks silly on purpose, and when his mom takes pictures he looks bored. LOL.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-62302244811867956662012-01-25T18:15:47.649-05:002012-01-25T18:15:47.649-05:00The contrived photos are the cousin of what I fell...The contrived photos are the cousin of what I fell into in my twenties--the taken-overhead-but-looking-sullen-because-I-AM-VERY-SERIOUS look. Oi! I guess I was "finding myself," or something?Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-81194360767321330242012-01-25T18:14:27.881-05:002012-01-25T18:14:27.881-05:00Cindy Lou, that is fascinating that you see this &...Cindy Lou, that is fascinating that you see this "lemon face" in girls, among other expressions. I'd actually love to talk with you further about this as research; if you see this and wouldn't mind sharing a bit more, please drop me a line at the.beheld.blog at gmail.com. You're in a unique position to see the ways people change in front of the camera and I'd love to know more!<br /><br />Also, PICKLE! Love.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-40835437442462601732012-01-25T10:40:39.843-05:002012-01-25T10:40:39.843-05:00Read the Julie Klausner piece.... My sentiments ex...Read the Julie Klausner piece.... My sentiments exactly! So we have the 8-year-olds in Cindy Lou's post below wanting to look overly sexy and 'modelesque', and the 28-year-olds have on a playsuit from Urban Outfitters and a lollipop. Personally, I love a whimsical twist to style, in small increments, but the contrived photographs spawned by overdoses of whimsy are exhausting.Jessica Medicinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-81891587272663808572012-01-24T16:14:16.845-05:002012-01-24T16:14:16.845-05:00i saw a link to this post on already pretty, and i...i saw a link to this post on already pretty, and i just wanted to comment. i am a school portrait photographer, and i see the "lemon face" over and over again, especially from high school girls who have this preconceived idea of how they want to look. i also see 8 year olds refusing to follow directions about how to pose because they want "to look like a model." now, i know that school portraits are not the be all and end all of professional photos, but we do try to get the most natural smile possible, and many people, my own son, included, are very pleasant looking in portraits even if they don't show their teeth. you are right, however, that the vast majority of people do look more natural and relaxed with a full, toothy grin. what do i do to get them more comfortable in front of the camera? if they are having a hard time giving me the smile that looks most natural, i just have them start repeating random words after me, and after 4 or 5 words, i say "ok, now say pickle!" that usually gets them to smile, even if they don't actually say the word. it is funny that that is the word that works, even on adults. i had one middle school boy who was being difficult (on purpose), so i had him do this. when i told him to say "pickle", he said "PICKLE???" and then gave me the greatest smile. i clicked the shutter and the resulting photo was wonderful. i let him see it and he started yelling "it's perfect! it's perfect!" so remember, when it's time to take a picture, instead of saying "cheese", everybody say "pickle"!!!cindy lounoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-29006381587395434092012-01-24T15:23:49.428-05:002012-01-24T15:23:49.428-05:00Jessica, YES, absolutely. I haven't actually w...Jessica, YES, absolutely. I haven't actually written explicitly on that but I feel like it's related to this idea of projecting an image instead of projecting ourselves. Or maybe, in the case of the quirky-cutie-pie gal, it's more about projecting this OH MY YOU CAUGHT ME BEING NATURALLY ADORABLE "self" that isn't a self after all. Julie Klausner wrote a great piece about this--she tied it to girlhood vs. womanhood, and that's part of it (as you point out--children's clothes!) but I feel like there's more to it. Anyway, here's the piece; I hope you enjoy it!<br /><br />http://julieklausner.tumblr.com/post/6331886267/dont-fear-the-dowager-a-valentine-to-maturity-anAutumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-32689780226073173522012-01-20T22:26:39.515-05:002012-01-20T22:26:39.515-05:00This has probably been addressed on this forum (I ...This has probably been addressed on this forum (I TRY to keep up with it, I truly do!), but I am so tired of seeing the 'I'm soooooo quirky/cute' photos! Facebook, dang Zooeieiy Deschanel, woodland fairies, etc. You do a quirky smile, putting your mouth askew is a popular choice, and then look up at something amusing in the upper corner. These are meant to look like, "Whoopsie-daisie! You caught me doing something REALLY CUTE!" but they are often the most contrived of all. Hair done just-so, wacky outfit mix of vintage, Anthropologie, and children's clothes... Nothing against the styles, the hair/clothes per se, and often the girls in these pictures truly ARE lil' cuties, it's just the major effort that goes into a perfectly contrived photo. They are trying so hard to be different, but somehow they all turn out looking pretty much interchangeable.Jessica Medicinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-41830253543978757142012-01-18T15:41:51.579-05:002012-01-18T15:41:51.579-05:00Lori, that's so funny--same problem, different...Lori, that's so funny--same problem, different symptoms. Are there any photos of yourself that you do like? I wonder what makes those different.<br /><br />ApocalypseBakery, that's interesting that you can witness your partner doing a particular action (laughing) to convey a certain self to the world. It's easier to see in other people than it is ourselves--and perhaps more heartbreaking too. My fellow hates having his picture taken, and sure enough, in many photos of him you see this stiff, uncomfortable person. It makes my heart sing when I see photos of us together where he's the person I know--and he probably feels the same way.<br /><br />Romy, I like that--remembering that at least someone will like the way it looks! I think that's what works about a smile--it's the default, yes, but it's a default for a good reason. Most of us look better when we smile.<br /><br />Terri, you know full well I'm going to try that tip next time I'm in front of a camera. And thank you for the Linda Pastan poem. I hadn't read it, and upon reading it I felt a stillness, the kind of stillness that nourishes.<br /><br />Rebekah, at some point I want to explore the idea of what we "REALLY" look like--I'm guessing it rarely matches up with how we actually look. When I did my mirror fast, at one point I exited an elevator to walk smack-dab into a mirror, and I looked far older in the mirror than I thought I did--that is, I'd been adjusting my age in my head to be younger, just as my "REALLY" also has bigger cheeks than I probably do in real life. Where do these REALLYs come from? Heh, now I want to interview, like, radical honesty people to see if they can share their REALLYs with one another!<br /><br />Susan, I'm so pleased to meet you! Terri has now given me story recommendations, book recommendations, a poem, and now another excellent blog to read. I may owe her my firstborn.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-9255498243480991532012-01-18T13:13:33.256-05:002012-01-18T13:13:33.256-05:00Terri of Rags told me about this post and I'm ...Terri of Rags told me about this post and I'm glad I popped over to read it. I'll be thinking about this all day now, and will try smiling next time I play with the camera and tripod.Susa Tinerhttp://www.stylemadebyhand.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-1657956856289406632012-01-17T23:25:50.868-05:002012-01-17T23:25:50.868-05:00"I even tried saying prune, advice I picked u..."I even tried saying prune, advice I picked up from none other than the Olsen twins."<br /><br />AHA! You've explained Every Olsen Photo Ever! I could tell they were up to somethin'...<br /><br />"I try not to overidentify with photographs of myself; I try to see them as the snapshots they are, not as a representation of how I exist in this world."<br /><br />It's hard, isn't it? I'm uncomfortable with my looks, and twice as uncomfortable with photographic evidence of those looks. I think of every photo of "proof of what I REALLY look like," and that's almost always bad for the soul.<br /><br />It surprises me that you often describe your self as having full cheeks or a wide face. I've never perceived your face that way. Clearly, your beauty hang-ups are mere delusions, so feel free to chuck 'em. Mine, of course, are gospel truth.Rebekahhttp://www.jauntydame.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-57508492380192185062012-01-17T21:15:15.197-05:002012-01-17T21:15:15.197-05:00I recognize myself in this post. One of my colleg...I recognize myself in this post. One of my college portraits has the "sucking on lemons" thing down pat. And a year or so prior to starting to blog, I read a tip somewhere that I'd get the biggest, cheesiest smile if I pushed my tongue into the back of my front teeth. I still don't think I've grown comfortable with my smile in front of a camera. I know when my husband takes the pics, my expression is far more natural.<br /><br />Have you ever read this poem by Linda Pastan?<br /><br />The Obligation to Be Happy By Linda Pastan<br /><br />It is more onerous<br />than the rites of beauty<br />or housework, harder than love.<br />But you expect it of me casually,<br />the way you expect the sun<br />to come up, not in spite of rain<br />or clouds but because of them.<br /><br />And so I smile, as if my own fidelity<br />to sadness were a hidden vice—<br />that downward tug on my mouth,<br />my old suspicion that health<br />and love are brief irrelevancies,<br />no more than laughter in the warm dark<br />strangled at dawn.<br /><br />Happiness. I try to hoist it<br />on my narrow shoulders again—<br />a knapsack heavy with gold coins.<br />I stumble around the house, <br />bump into things.<br />Only Midas himself<br />would understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-75416914312194245632012-01-17T09:13:34.387-05:002012-01-17T09:13:34.387-05:00I understand you 100%. Every time that someone app...I understand you 100%. Every time that someone approachs me with a camera on a hand I can feel every single muscle in my face get tensed and what scares me the most is the knowing that tension will be reflected on that photo, so I get more tense!<br />So what I do is to breath and think that someone at least 1 person would find my picture atractive! I just focus on that one person and forget the rest<br />say Cheese! or Tuesday as I read once!Madkrakatoahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07197551788337610940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-85844963432510033392012-01-17T09:00:15.851-05:002012-01-17T09:00:15.851-05:00Great post. It's so true about wanting to cont...Great post. It's so true about wanting to control how you look so much that you end up taking the 'you' right out of it. It is really interesting way of seeing what kind of person you try to present to the world - whether you want to look slim and alluring, or smart and serious, or look like you are trying to have fun all the time. Now that I think about it, my partner always laughs very hard as soon as you get a camera out because he so wants to be seen as a fun person. Thanks for some great insight.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-23690151971048701432012-01-17T08:51:57.633-05:002012-01-17T08:51:57.633-05:00Love this post! Your new photos look great. This i...Love this post! Your new photos look great. This is so interesting because I have a totally different "photo face." My face is too thin, so I tip it up, not down. And people say my smile is my best feature, so I do a wide grin, which also plumps my cheeks out. The point is how self-conscious we all are! I hate having my photo taken. It will never matter who or how many people say my photo is nice--I NEVER believe them. Kudos on a great article!Lori Dayhttp://www.loridayconsulting.comnoreply@blogger.com