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Now more than ever workers are encouraged to bring their "authentic" selves to their jobs, which is generally a good thing, but our authentic selves have plenty of sexuality! Which we can't help, you know? So then being "authentic" and "yourself" becomes something that we need to guard against.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-7414186477224309472013-04-05T08:33:38.162-04:002013-04-05T08:33:38.162-04:00June, this makes me want to visit Brazil! I think ...June, this makes me want to visit Brazil! I think here in the States there's this idea of Brazilians as all being beautiful and toned and that that's why the popular image of Brazilians features the sort of fashion you're talking about--but of course that's only because we're seeing selected, exoticized images. (I remember traveling to Europe in the '90s and being annoyed that Europeans would mention "Baywatch" as being representative of American women.) Interesting that the fashions might be the same but they're on normal-people bodies!<br /><br />I should do a breasts post, though honestly because I'm small-busted but not flat-chested, it's like my body has "played by the rules" for me so I don't have tons to say. I've only rarely gotten comments about my breasts from people who don't have any business commenting. I used to use the term "modestly-sized" to describe my B/C-cups until I realized that implied that larger breasts were immodest, which, ugh.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-85513855551698749142013-04-05T08:28:46.161-04:002013-04-05T08:28:46.161-04:00Anonymous, that's so interesting how the respo...Anonymous, that's so interesting how the responses you got by not following the rules were so all over the map. I wonder if there were circumstances where it might have signaled the opposite? Say, if someone admired "rule-breakers"? Of course, that's something that goes against the grain, so by definition that reaction would be an exception to the rule.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-70705617677609182382013-04-04T07:40:50.459-04:002013-04-04T07:40:50.459-04:00I have always lamented the fact that my "ladi...I have always lamented the fact that my "ladies" make dressing professionally incredibly challenging at times. When I started my last job I had just encountered some health issues and for a variety of reasons I put on about 30lbs (mostly in my chest...thank you Grandma!) and one of my managers told me that the CEO thought I dressed "too sexy". I was wearing the same styles that I work in the job previous where I was considered a fashion plate and was constantly complimented on my wardrobe. My boobs got in the way of my ability to express myself and it really pissed me off. It made me mad at myself and the world. I thought it was so unfair that I was criticized for being sexy. Interestingly enough, I was never given any hope of promotion or future at that job. Now I am in a new career, I dress down my femininity more often than not and weight aside (the boobs have returned to their normal size which is still quite robust) and I am on the ladder being cheered towards career growth. <br /><br />It is a shame that we have to fear our sexuality and worry that it compromises our career success when all anyone wants is to be able to wear clothes that they like and that express their personality. Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03015898334721960589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-46258704169217835412013-04-03T14:47:20.360-04:002013-04-03T14:47:20.360-04:00Oh, I agree. I'd love to see most small-buste...Oh, I agree. I'd love to see most small-busted blogger out there take up the cry and get there version of dealing with this issues in the workplace too. Always good to hear more perspectives!<br /><br />I have to that I sat back a bit to think about this after reading your post. Here in Brazil the fashion rules are very different and it is extremely common to see short skirts and high heels (actually, I'd say dressing up with flats is extremely rare here and I break the rules since I can't wear heels due to my knees). <br /><br />It actually fascinates me how different the rules are here. For instance, muffin tops on pants are not hidden and I've seen very professional dressed women wearing a pair of pants with a muffin top and tight shirt. In general, there seems to be a more relaxed view of one's body and who has the right to wear certain clothes. Another US rules that I've seen broken here is older women dressing up in trendy younger clothes (with short skirts, heels and all). <br /><br />Granted, some of it comes down to income levels and local availability here. Clothes are much more expensive here than in the states and people have less money so you have to make do with the options available. But I honestly don't mind living in a country where the fashion rules aren't as stringent! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08978428709634320148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-90754269436630494842013-04-03T14:06:44.833-04:002013-04-03T14:06:44.833-04:00There seems to be some safety by following the rul...There seems to be some safety by following the rules. For years, because of economical but also self-esteem reasons, I was one of the women who didn't play by the rules, and was shamed at every angle. Some, such as my peers, told me my lack of flattering clothing indicated I didn't care about myself. Others, such as classmates, saw my lack of adherence as a sign of intelligence: If I couldn't follow the basic rules of femininity, how could I be reliable in anything else? More, like my family, saw it as social failure: If you can't follow the rules, no one -- not a husband, not an employer, not friends -- will want you.<br /><br />So, at least based on my experiences, playing by the rules signifies to others, on a superficial level, that I am competent, that I am worthy of love and attention, that I care about myself, and that I, ultimately, am trustworthy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com