tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post8265335871979409901..comments2024-03-18T06:47:36.697-04:00Comments on Beauty, and What It Means: On Being a Fat ChildAutumn Whitefield-Madranohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-45848132052791373422014-10-26T17:16:09.012-04:002014-10-26T17:16:09.012-04:00Third party written content along with authenticit...Third party written content along with authenticity are crucial in order to reviews. Blatantly attacking a brand will be unwanted <a href="http://completeblinds.net.au/awnings/" rel="nofollow">Find out more</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18338012609875718329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-10236855008473817482013-08-16T13:33:20.855-04:002013-08-16T13:33:20.855-04:00Nice post buddy I like it 3d
wallpapers for laptop...Nice post buddy I like it <a href="http://www.wallpaperfunda.com/3d-wallpapers-for-laptops/" rel="nofollow">3d<br />wallpapers for laptops</a> , <a href="http://www.indianist.com/how-to-become-fat-fast-in-10-days/" rel="nofollow">how to become fat</a>Songspkhttp://www.bollywoodvolume.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-25580546410690261492012-11-18T13:50:26.279-05:002012-11-18T13:50:26.279-05:00It's really difficult to regain that sense of ...It's really difficult to regain that sense of self-esteem once it's been taken from us--but you can, with practice, form from that harsh reality a solid core. I wish exactly that for you.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-77714620269374901872012-11-17T00:06:18.431-05:002012-11-17T00:06:18.431-05:00I was once been bullied and i think that have left...I was once been bullied and i think that have left me a strong impact....i grew up to learn that reality is harsh and people by yourside arent always the one you should trust...until now i find it hard to sociallize with people around including my family members...the feel of having low self esteem as i was once the fat,uncute little girl that have not much friend AlieeAloyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07704886868458931685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-77952548979688619052012-11-16T12:08:27.376-05:002012-11-16T12:08:27.376-05:00Greta, you're writing here about some really c...Greta, you're writing here about some really complex, really emotional stuff, and I'm glad to see it laid out here. Because yes, it is absolutely okay to want to lose weight, and that doesn't have to preclude also loving yourself. It's tricky to get there, but it's possible. At my best I'm able to keep my healthy habits for reasons that I feel good about; at my average it's a mix of both; at my worst it's just self-flagellation (or not being healthy at all/not taking care of myself).<br /><br />You may have found this blog through Sally McGraw's wonderful blog Already Pretty, but I'd recommend that you read her work as well as that of Mara Glatzel, or "Medicinal Marzipan." Sally focuses more on fashion but she's excellent at articulating the balance between those two poles. And Mara's work is wonderful--she comes from a place of sort of radical self-care, which includes healthy habits. <br /><br />http://alreadypretty.com<br />http://www.maraglatzel.com/blog/Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-13465708905677240752012-11-16T12:04:29.439-05:002012-11-16T12:04:29.439-05:00Ha! Literally seconds after posting that I overhea...Ha! Literally seconds after posting that I overheard a coworker talking about Hostess going bankrupt. Are we seeing the anti-Twinkification of America?Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-80514363068424585462012-11-16T12:02:07.238-05:002012-11-16T12:02:07.238-05:00I'm glad to hear you bring up the political po...I'm glad to hear you bring up the political points here--it's not just that our culture has a messed-up emotional relationship with food, it's that it's built that way to further Big Agriculture and the Twinkification of America. I see that changing but then there are class issues that get brought into that. Not an easy fix...<br /><br />You're probably right that I'm being a hint unkind to my former self. I wonder how I'd regard her if I hadn't sort of dragged those issues into my adulthood--if I'd be more contemptuous of her or more forgiving. I'm guessing the latter.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-90435753622226579272012-11-15T21:12:20.262-05:002012-11-15T21:12:20.262-05:00Thank you so much for writing this. You described ...Thank you so much for writing this. You described my childhood, although I remember more teasing. I was the chubby toddler whose pediatrician put her on a diet at age 4. To this day, I firmly believe that this is the root of my "food issues." And then I continued to be the fat kid, the fat teenager who then got diabetes at age 13 during a time when doctors didn't realize that kids were getting type II diabetes. And I continued to be the fat teenager, the fatter teenager, the fat adult...and here I am. It's so difficult to balance the desire to accept myself and the desire to change myself. I am still painfully self conscious, but I am much stronger and know my worth. So... why do I continue to beat myself up every day about my weight? I gained a few pounds over the last month and a half during a very stressful time. And I've been berating myself for that and for falling off the exercise/yoga wagon. It is so hard to break free from the emotional baggage to be able to address the health issues and accept that it's ok to want to be healthy. It's ok to want to lose weight, even when you want to be able to really look yourself in the eye and sincerely say "You are so beautiful." I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about that. Something tells me that I need to put a big sign on my mirror and work on loving myself more. Just as I am sure that a diet at 4 years old messed with me, I am also certain that I need to let go of that, stop blaming anyone including myself, and learn to really love myself in order to be able to lose the weight. I've now had diabetes for over half my life, and I know that if I do the "right" things, I can reverse it. But it is still extraordinarily difficult.<br /><br />Again, thank you for so carefully and clearly articulating your experience. So many secrets, hiding food, binge eating...there are so many of us who have shared experiences and pain. The more we talk about it and learn to let things go, the better we will feel about ourselves. It's so much easier to accept and forgive when someone else understands and legitimizes the lingering pain from your childhood.Gretahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05225994258751847416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-88697244998461036872012-11-14T11:33:51.561-05:002012-11-14T11:33:51.561-05:00Wow, this post is so beautiful and hear-wrenching....Wow, this post is so beautiful and hear-wrenching. It gets at the core of a major condundrum in our society - the childhood obesity epidemic - which is that we don't know how to "fix" this problem without inevitably creating further problems (such as eating dissorders and mental health issues). Modern culture makes it even harder with a crap food supply, GMO and a food industry hell-bent on keeping us fat and addicted to their crap food! <br /><br />But I think you are being too hard on your former fat-child-self. You were just a baby and you were taking care of your needs the way you knew how. I understand where you are coming from, but you can't shame your former self just like we shouldn't be shaming kids with those awful billboards. <br /><br />It's a tough call on what would be the right approach, but I can't help but think that an emphasis on exercise and health programs in shcools would be a step in the right direction. When you were a young girl the adults around you didn't know that they needed to play a bigger role in your healht as this wasn't such a public issue back then. But today it's really public and we adults need to be role models to young kids. <br /><br />I also can't help but think some people get addicted to smokes, others to food, and that the foods "fat" people tend to eat are addictive in and of themselves. <br /><br />Oye. I don't know. This is a tough one! <br /><br /><br /><br />Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03015898334721960589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-27823073664488808132012-11-12T11:40:38.223-05:002012-11-12T11:40:38.223-05:00Mandy, that's so interesting that it's tha...Mandy, that's so interesting that it's that image that stuck with you--being carried over the threshold. It's funny what we arbitrarily decide is a marker of womanhood, eh? I never wear pants except for jeans, and it's because once I started feeling better in my body, I realized I wanted to shout my femininity from the rooftops, and that took the form of skirts. It's like, as long as I'm wearing a skirt/dress, you can't tell me I'm unfeminine. And you know how many people in my life have called me unfeminine? NONE! It's in my head only. Oi.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-40247923108303312582012-11-12T11:35:30.356-05:002012-11-12T11:35:30.356-05:00A. Maren, if it's cliche, it's cliche for ...A. Maren, if it's cliche, it's cliche for a reason. Something I learned when I sought treatment for what turned into an eating disorder was that it's perfectly normal to seek solace in food. What's not normal is not having any other coping mechanisms. I remember sharing this revelation with my then-boyfriend, who was like, "Well, of course! Chocolate can pick up my spirits"--blew my mind to know that the behavior could be normal. It does help--but it only goes so far, and that's where people like you and me get into trouble.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-60017182192156876822012-11-12T11:33:37.480-05:002012-11-12T11:33:37.480-05:00Anonymous, thank you for reading. It really is a c...Anonymous, thank you for reading. It really is a constant life issue--even when one's weight is stable and healthy and you feel good about it, it's really hard to let go of the mental patterns that accompanied old behavior.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-67653055468218704032012-11-12T11:32:41.548-05:002012-11-12T11:32:41.548-05:00Anonymous, that is a powerful realization. For yes...Anonymous, that is a powerful realization. For yes, when you grow up having to keep a secret, letting go of secrecy itself can be painful. Just knowing that there doesn't *have to be* a secret any longer doesn't mean we won't create new secrets to keep us company.<br /><br />Thank you for reading.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-56529604016042322262012-11-12T11:30:32.412-05:002012-11-12T11:30:32.412-05:00And thank you for reading.And thank you for reading.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-55350446394077945402012-11-12T11:30:22.001-05:002012-11-12T11:30:22.001-05:00Thank you, Grace. I was going to say that I wanted...Thank you, Grace. I was going to say that I wanted to find "a middle ground" between fat acceptance and weight loss when someone really does want to lose weight--but it's not so much a middle ground I want to find as a different ground, one that doesn't ask us to choose, you know?Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-27031845009549192612012-11-12T10:41:59.205-05:002012-11-12T10:41:59.205-05:00What a gorgeous post. Really. I too was a chubby k...What a gorgeous post. Really. I too was a chubby kid who was never really teased for my weight (other kids unfortunately were the one being teased. I think being meek got me off the hook). Still, as an adult I realized I carried a lot of ideas about myself from childhood, especially the idea of being unfeminine. I remember being terrified of not being able to be carried across the threshhold as a newlywed, which seemed to be such a marker of womanhood. I can say that doesn't bother me at all now and actually seems really silly, but I still struggle to think of myself as feminine sometimes, even though I'm now a "normal" weight.Mandyhttp://ohdizzle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-68340133240287606332012-11-10T17:03:08.456-05:002012-11-10T17:03:08.456-05:00a beautifully written discussion of a complex topi...a beautifully written discussion of a complex topic. i especially related to the part where you describe your feelings as fatness, and your fatness as feelings. i was a fat teenager, and while i'm thinner now as an adult i'm still slightly curvy. and i know that i get 'curvier' when i'm upset about something. is that cliche? the comfort eating? but it's deeper than just food making me feel better. it's like you wrote, those feelings get filtered through food, and i carry them around with me like baggage, physically manifested on my body. anyway. thought provoking. have also enjoyed the other comments.amlamontehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679620072242827076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-88299917496863522572012-11-10T14:38:40.639-05:002012-11-10T14:38:40.639-05:00Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am an ex mo...Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am an ex morbidly- obese . Now at a " healthy weight" for 10 years+.<br />But weight is just a number. The weight is really all on our shoulders, in our life story / struggles. Constant life battle / theme. I really enjoyed reading your post and your readers comments!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-41437302662926669222012-11-10T10:49:40.220-05:002012-11-10T10:49:40.220-05:00I wasn't a fat child but when my parents divor...I wasn't a fat child but when my parents divorced, I became a fat adolescent, then a fat teenager, then a fat adult. (I am still fat). All I remember clearly about my parents' divorce is eating Oreo cookies. I ate A LOT of Oreo cookies and I hit puberty (I was 11) and I grew breasts and then all of a sudden, in one winter, I went from a girl's size 10 to a ladie's size 8. I was teased for a lot of things as a child (crooked teeth being the main thing) but I don't remember being teased so much for my weight. I remember loving, caring adults in my life trying to tell me (out of love, I believe) that I had to lose weight because I would be teased/judged/ridiculed/unlovable if I didn't.<br /><br />What I find fascinating about what you wrote is this idea of the secret - hiding binges, faking hurting an ankle or being sick - the hiding that fat children and adults do. My father was an abusive drunk, so that divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me and my family. I spent the first 11 years of my life learning how to keep my father's secret. You have to lie, to pretend, to tell yourself stories that you know in your heart are not true, to purposefully avert your eyes from the truth to hide alcoholism. To pretend the alcoholism doesn't exist and that you dad doesn't lose his mind and that you hadn't watched him choke out your mother or throw a butcher knife at her, barely missing. You have to pretend to be normal because you have to protect the secret - the alcoholism - at all costs. No one can ever know. You don't want anyone to know. It's your secret - your family's secret - the hidden shame of your life. I remember knowing at 4 years old that I had to keep this secret, that if it ever came out, all bets would be off. The world would end. <br /><br />I didn't have a weight problem when the abuse and the drinking took place. I had one after it ended. And reading what you wrote (which is so honest and brave) made me realize that once my dad left, and I didn't have that secret, I just replaced it with another secret. I don't think I know how to live without keeping some sort of secret. I certainly didn't at 11. My eating and my weight gain replaced the alcoholism and abuse. Maybe it wasn't just the fact that it was a secret - maybe "shame" would be the more accurate word. The alcoholism was shameful to me, and after my dad was gone from my life, my weight became what was shameful. What I felt I had to hide at all costs.<br /><br />Thank you for writing this and for making me think. Thank you for your bravery and honesty. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-81308839874120883602012-11-09T20:01:33.836-05:002012-11-09T20:01:33.836-05:00Thank you for writing this...Thank you for writing this...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-17542545596251786412012-11-09T17:02:05.771-05:002012-11-09T17:02:05.771-05:00You articulate this so, so well. I have a lot of c...You articulate this so, so well. I have a lot of complicated thoughts and feelings around body positivity because, well, I was a fat kid and I am a fat grownup, and it ISN'T only society who doesn't like that. You wrestle with this hard topic admirably- thanks. Gracehttp://www.missoulagrace.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-7508732786822775842012-11-09T14:20:30.191-05:002012-11-09T14:20:30.191-05:00Jaded, that's interesting that your weight too...Jaded, that's interesting that your weight took a backseat to other visible (or audible!) differences that set you apart from your peers. Do you feel that way as an adult? (I mean, obviously it's different for adults in that we're hopefully less self-conscious, but you know what I mean.)<br /><br />I'm on board with much fat acceptance--and am 100% on board with laying off weight stigma. My own experiences prevent me from endorsing it wholeheartedly, and it's difficult to know how much of that is simply internalized fat-phobia on my end.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-57834244923255112602012-11-09T14:18:22.259-05:002012-11-09T14:18:22.259-05:00Selima, the funny thing is that despite not having...Selima, the funny thing is that despite not having been teased for my weight, the idea that teasing is neverending for fat kids was so embedded in me that it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that hadn't really been my reality. I'm sorry that it was yours.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-55824846201231796492012-11-08T14:11:38.119-05:002012-11-08T14:11:38.119-05:00I was one of the chubby ones growing up. But that...I was one of the chubby ones growing up. But that was the least of my worries. I was also the weird black girl with the high voice and whole myriad of other things. Those other identities probably overshadowed weight for me.<br /><br />I remember wearing a bra in 4th grade, and skipping the training bras straight for the B-cups almost immediately. I spent the next 17 years or so wearing the wrong bra size (and it was way off) and feeling uncomfortable with attention surrounding early puberty. In a way it was nice to be sort of invisible.<br /><br />I have never been "slim." I have been hovering at the edge of the "normal" sizes and the "plus sizes" since age 12 or so. Even though I am trying to lose some weight, I'll solidly be in the "fat acceptance" camp.Jadednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5689865906513225949.post-80416419648028697942012-11-08T08:57:30.434-05:002012-11-08T08:57:30.434-05:00Interesting. I was "the fat girl" too bu...Interesting. I was "the fat girl" too but I was teased for it, not mercilessly, but enough to make me as an adult think that it was the teasing that made me sort of fat-phobic later in life. I have no idea how much of this is internal or organic as opposed to something from outside forces...I just know that as it was for you, it was a hard time for me too. Selimanoreply@blogger.com