Monday, March 12, 2012

A Humble Plea

Love on the rocks.

I don’t share much about my romantic life here. This isn't necessarily by design; my gentleman friend doesn’t mind when I write about him, as he trusts I wouldn’t write anything about him that would make him uncomfortable or violate his—our—privacy. It’s more that the issued that would be relevant to write about here as far as our relationship—say, the keen desire to be desired, sometimes specifically for how I look, and how that plays out between two people who give a good deal of thought to authenticity and representation in relationships of all sorts—are things I’m still wrestling with. I frequently figure things out through writing about them, but that can be dangerous in a number of ways when the “thing” in question is another person, one you care about immensely. The end result—at this point, anyway—is that while the role of romance in beauty is hardly verboten from The Beheld, its presence is far less frequent than one might imagine.

So what I’m about to ask is, like, totally unfair. I’m working on a project (related to but separate from this blog) in which I need to hear from a lot of women about looks, appearance, and being seen—specifically, how those things play into dating and relationships. I’ll be making similar pleas in the future but for now I’m looking to talk with women about the role appearance, beauty, and the wish to be seen (or not seen) has played out in their romantic relationships and dating life. I’m not looking for any particular type of woman—in fact, I’m looking for a diverse range of people to talk with. The only requirement is that you consider yourself a woman.

If you’re interested in talking with me about how looks have played into your romantic life, please drop me an e-mail at at gmail dotcom; I’ll send you a few questions and we’ll go from there. Sound good? All responses will be confidential.


  1. I consider myself a woman, AND I'm on spring break. You'll hear from me soon.

    1. If I did emoticons, now might be the time I'd do one in, and it would be a smiley face.

  2. Replies
    1. Terri, I haven't actually received it yet--not sure if you got distracted or if it got lost. Just DM'd you on Twitter--no worries if you're unable to do it for any reason! I'd love whatever input you have to offer.

  3. I saw this post the same day you posted it and meant to respond. If you still need to hear from women, I would be happy to answer questions. Should I post my email here?

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