Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Yer Cheatin' Heart: The Relationship Between Beauty and Betrayal


The Fête of the Order of Cuckoldry Before the Throne of Her Majesty, Infidelity, France, c. 1815


Looking at appearance and infidelity vis-à-vis the Petraeus household made me curious about what role beauty actually does play in betrayal. Most of us know from casual observation that it’s fully possible for a person to cheat with someone who isn’t as physically attractive as that person’s primary partner—but is there any sort of pattern there? Are people likelier to cheat with someone who’s conventionally better-looking than one’s partner?

I was surprised/relieved to find that there weren’t any studies available that delved into that particular question. (Not sure how that would work in a lab setting anyway: “Please send photo of mistress to...”?) But there’s a wealth of research looking at other intersections of appearance and infidelity. Some of the more interesting findings:


1) Women reported feeling more threatened when “the other woman” was particularly attractive—but only in cases of emotional infidelity. In sexual infidelity, the other woman’s appearance had no effect on the wife/girlfriend’s feelings about the betrayal.

I was surprised by the findings of this study at first. On the surface, our culture tends to equate beauty with sex appeal more than it connects beauty and lovability. (The frowsy girl in movies never gets laid, but someone’s gonna see her heart of gold, right?) So wouldn’t a woman feel more threatened by an attractive rival when the betrayal was sexual more than emotional?

But with a closer look, it makes perfect sense. Sexual infidelity can be as meaningless as a drunken, regrettable one-night stand; emotional infidelity implies not a fleeting crush but something with a deeper current that develops over time. In other words: Someone cheating sexually could just want one specific part of a person (ahem)—but someone cheating emotionally is entranced with the entirety of the third party. And in a culture that likes to make-believe that a woman’s value as a person lies in her beauty and feminine charms, it’s logical that a beautiful woman—i.e. a valuable woman—is going to pose a greater threat in situations of emotional infidelity. When your partner becomes emotionally invested in another person, it stings regardless of who that person is. But when it’s someone whose value is evident, the threat is greater because your own value diminishes comparatively. With sexual infidelity, the value of the person isn’t called into question as sharply as it with emotional infidelity, so a beautiful “rival” poses less of a threat.


2) Women are more likely than men to end a marriage after their own infidelity—and the more attractive the woman as compared to her husband, the likelier she is to do so.

To put it plainly, attractive women are likelier than men to use infidelity as an opportunity to “trade up,” in the language of this study. The lesson here seems clear: Beauty increases a woman’s “market value,” while infidelity (including the person’s own infidelity) lessens the value an individual gets from her or his partner. Put the two together and it’s not hard to see how a woman might feel as though the algorithm of the relationship has changed after infidelity, to the point where ending the relationship makes sense in a way that it might not if she weren’t confident of her “market value.” By the way, I’m putting that in quotes because it makes me a little queasy not to.


3) Women were twice as likely as men to endorse “the other person makes me feel attractive” as an acceptable reason for infidelity.

Endorse is a strong word here but it’s the word used in the study so I’m borrowing it here; the participants weren’t necessarily saying infidelity was hunky-dory under any circumstance. With that weakened use of endorse in mind, take this in: 20% of men endorsed cheating if the other person made them feel attractive, while 42% of women said the same. In addition, women were 6% likelier to endorse infidelity when the cheating party wasn’t attracted to their spouse. (In fact, the only reason for cheating that men endorsed significantly more than women was “Opportunity presented itself,” with 32% of men signing on.)

Read cynically, this confirms the wretched stereotype of women as hopelessly vain, forever needing to be fawned over and then getting huffy enough to cheat if that fawning stops. But I interpret this rather as a sad comment on what all these studies are driving at: Plenty of women still internalize their value as lying in their looks. Feeling beautiful under someone else’s gaze can be intoxicating—and so validating that it might trump other values one might hold dear. Bathing in that gaze is often construed as such a foundational condition of a relationship that it might be easy for some women to quietly substitute in that feeling for commitment and fidelity. Indeed, so much advice given to women about how to “catch his eye” is geared toward maximizing physical attractiveness that if you squint hard enough, catching his eye can appear to be the grand prize that women are supposed to shoot for—not the relationship itself. Little wonder that under that paradigm, plenty of women might be willing to excuse infidelity with “but he makes me feel beautiful.” Plus, since attractiveness is often seen as the way one “earns” sex (only the beautiful get to do the nasty, you know), it makes sense that having your appearance highly valued by another lays the groundwork for beauty’s payoff.


4) Men married to women they believe to have a high infidelity risk are likelier than other men to use “mate retention tactics” to keep their wives from straying. Women, on the other hand, were no more or less likely to deploy such tactics regardless of whether they thought their husbands might cheat. 

You’ve gotta love these “tactics” too: punishing the woman for whatever it is that makes him think she might stray, putting down competitors, submission and debasement, and “concealment of mate,” whatever that means (the study didn’t say). Of course, that’s better than the tactics used by men who perceive their wives to be more attractive than they themselves are: emotional manipulation, derogation, sexual threats, and violence against rivals. And once again, women who perceived their husbands to be more attractive than they themselves are weren’t more likely to use those tactics.

These tidbits are just randomly dispiriting until you look at another finding of the study and see exactly how dispiriting it really is: There was no correlation between how hot a guy thinks his wife is and how likely he thinks she is to cheat on him. Yet a woman’s perceived beauty and her perceived risk of infidelity are not only punished, but are punished in much the same way. (Not all the “mate retention tactics” measured in the survey were negative ones; love and care were considered tactics, for example.) So basically: Women are groomed to maximize their attractiveness, in part because that’s supposed to snag you a higher-quality mate. Yet getting into a relationship with a man who thinks you’re better-looking than he thinks he is carries risk. Talk about feeling cheated, eh?


*     *     *


These findings are hardly conclusive, largely because some of them relied upon hypothetical infidelities, and also because the conclusions drawn from the studies are rather oblique. (Plus, I’m skeptical of beauty studies to begin with.) Intellectually, what I gather from them is what popped up plenty of times above: As long as we see women’s value as lying largely in their appearance, there will be a relationship between beauty and betrayal, even if that relationship isn’t as straightforward as some people would make it seem.

Personally, though, I take something else from this data: Since there’s no pattern here as far as actual behavior, there’s little use fretting about one’s own appearance in conjunction with infidelity. I know that when I’ve been cheated on, my instinct (after seething rage) is to wonder why I alone wasn’t enough for my partner. And, yes, to wonder whether the betrayal happened because I ceased to be attractive in the cheater’s eyes. (I didn’t say it was a healthy instinct, people.) But looking at all these studies, they’re...fuzzy. Weird little conclusions come up, none of which explain the only thing I’ve really cared about when I’ve been betrayed—or, for that matter, when I’ve had the poor judgment to betray a partner myself: Why. The why of betrayal sears and smolders, and at least in my case, it never fully burns out, even years later. I don’t feel anger when I think of my high school boyfriend telling me he kissed his ex during a snowball fight, but the why still flickers, even if the only emotion it provokes in me is nostalgia for the time when that was the most complicated thing I could imagine happening in my intimate life.

These studies don’t provide a why. And as satisfying as it would be to have something concrete we could turn to in times of the heartbreak of betrayal, it’s fitting that no why emerges. Can we ever know why? If “opportunity presented itself” is one of the more popular reasons for cheating, there really isn’t a why. It might be cold comfort to see that beauty isn’t really a part of the why—or it might not be comfort at all, depending upon your relationship with beauty, and with infidelity, for that matter. But only when we learn to take our own perspective on appearance out of the equation can we begin to see “opportunity,” disappointment, and the chaos of love and desire—the unsatisfying but undeniable components that are likely a part of the why—as the real flame-throwers here.

This is part two of a three-part series on appearance and infidelity. Part one is here; look for part three next week.

47 comments:

  1. regarding point #4, I know several cases of unfaithful husbands who have stay with they wife, girlfriends etc, and they take extreme measures to avoid an infidelity from their partners side. They don't leave them to stay alone outside their homes, they drive them everywhere they need, if there is a meeting they go too and if they can't go they do other plans so their partner must decline the invitation. they are always alert, looking for that man with whom they will cheat on him. The worst is that when you comment this situation to those women, whom would never ever cheat on their man, most of them see it as a way of care, he is not jealous or insecure, he is just "overprotecting"
    In Argentina we call it "to have a straw tail" It's to know what you did, and to be afraid of being put in the situation by your partner; a thing must women I know won't do.

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    1. Romy, that phrase is just perfect--the "straw tail." I've seen a few cases like this myself and it's just heartbreaking. I suppose it makes a sad sort of sense, though: If you're willing to cheat on your partner, you're going to think *everyone* is able/willing/eager to do the same. Ugh!

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  2. I am married, and I have, to some extent, cheated on my husband. I haven't gone as far as sex. Rather it has been allowing another man to detail how enamored he is of my physicality. We've had a little intimate physical contact, but we've explicitly avoided kissing. He is married as well. I am ashamed of my unhealthy behavior, but I've had difficulty putting a stop to it. It is incredibly seductive to be told that one is beautiful and desirable by a man who is beautiful and desirable himself. He is the (very) tall, dark, and handsome stereotype, plus incredibly fit. I've been too weak to rebuke his attention, though I have tried a few times. He lives nearby, but we generally limit ourselves to phone or email, exchanging the occasional (never fully nude) photo. I know the reasons behind my involvement are pathetic. I am told I am beautiful from other sources and don't need to engage in this degrading behavior for validation, but I do seem to have a psychological weakness for sustained flattery. All of this is to say that I understand the basis for number three. I don't have an emotional or intellectual relationship with this guy and I don't want one. We are unlikely to ever kiss or sleep together. But it's gone way beyond ordinary flirting and the whole thing has been secret and illicit, and the only thing I have gotten out of it is the flattery. I know very little about his wife. He has deliberately kept her an abstraction, and, if she were any less so, I probably couldn't have done what I have done. I don't think he has any real reason to do this to her. I would guess it's just boredom and egotism coupled with the fact that I am physically different--taller, bustier, more hourglass. The only points of dissatisfaction he has ever brought up are her jealousy and possessiveness. He has sworn up and down that he has never transgressed with another woman, not that it particularly matters to me.

    My husband has never engaged in any "mate-guarding" behavior, and I don't think I could tolerate it. Jealousy and possessiveness have always been huge turn-offs to me. He is aware that other men seek me out, but we've traditionally had a strong relationship where this did not matter. Unfortunately, we have been struggling with some hugely stressful long-term events, and he has been increasingly withdrawn. I connect his lack of attention with my vulnerability to the flattery from the "other man", but, ultimately, responsibility for the bad behavior is mine alone.

    Sadly, in this time of our difficulty, attention from an attractive man (and some others) has confirmed my "market value" as you put it. It can make me feel less tolerant of being ignored or ill-treated by my husband. At the same time, I am grappling with the idea that no man or relationship might fully satisfy me, and that partners aren't simply replaceable because one is attractive. I could easily find a sex partner. I could easily find men who would like to start a relationship with me. I could not easily find a man whose feelings I could reciprocate and whose failings I could live with.

    So I won't be flogged too hard, I'd like to note that I haven't been in contact with my paramour for a while now. I know what I've said is unattractive, but I was interested in this post and thought my experiences might be somewhat relevant.

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    1. This is a flog-free zone, no worries there. I've never been married but once fell into a similar situation when I was supposed to be committed to someone else, and years later I can look at that situation and see that I was really, really hungry for the validation that attention gave me. It sounds like whatever stresses are happening with you and your husband are making you hungry as well. And no, it's not admirable, but it's understandable, and I hope you're not redoubling the confusion on this by being too hard on yourself.

      That lack of satisfaction you're talking about--not so much with your partner but in the larger sense, that no one relationship might ever fully satisfy you--is very real, and is, I'm guessing, a primary reason people cheat. Certainly it has been one of my primary reasons, in my youth. With age I've learned to be okay with that--not that it's okay to be in a relationship that's *unsatisfying*, but being unsatisfied is different than being not fully 100% satisfied. Temperamentally, I'm not really built that way, and accepting that about myself was helpful in recognizing what was actually working for me and what wasn't. I mean, I'm committed to living in New York City for the rest of my life and I still have fantasies about leaving! And that's nowhere near as confusing a relationship as most romances. Anyway, just a thought. I wish you the best, and I'm glad you put this out there.

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    2. I was having a boyfriend. We were known for long time only through phone. Suddenly through some event we met together and we promised we will be together for ever. Both of us are married and not satisfied with the present spouse. But because of some misunderstanding I quarreled with him and humiliated him in front of his friends. After that I realized my mistake and apologized with him like anything. He told me he will try to forget everything. After that we met once and he promised me everything happened because of misunderstanding and now we will together for ever.But after that we never met each other. when we plan to meet some hindrance will happen then it will stop. Also no proper communication. But for me he is my everything. He is the only one who gave such a good satisfaction in my life. I wanted him. I wanted him to meet me, to have sex with me, love me everything. He is very good.and l know He was made for me. But some hindrance keep keeping us apart. i tried to get close to him but nothing was working out until one day i heard about a spell caster called prophetharry@ymail.com, i decide to try his love spell and definitely it worked out perfectly for me, it never took time for the spell to start working, after some few days this guy i am loving came to me and wanted us to start dating, we are in love now, our lover is so tight that nothing can brings us apart, this love spell is wonderful
      shadonna

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    3. What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don't believe can just happen.my name is Adams Trance i am from U.S.A am 25 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don't really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream's of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help. i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called Dr.ogala, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr.ogala. I contacted his email address.And i told him everything that happen all he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after One hour my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again. So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address:(Holyspellcast@gmail.com, if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems. He can use his HOLY spell to help you. his web site http://holyspellcast.webs.com and you can also call him +2348039456308 THANKS..

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  3. These last two posts were very well written and thought-provoking as always, but they also triggered some sadness in me. This topic is hard, painful and difficult to handle due to complicated behavioural pattern underlying it, but I feel the need to add my experience with this.

    As much I would like to think that my family history (stories of different kinds of infidelity (that I know about) reach as far as 4 generations back) and my education (biology) has toughen me up by giving me a realistic insight on the topic and freed me from blindly believing the happily-ever-after relationship scenario, I can't help feeling quite numb after reading "the opportunity presented itself" reason. Reminds me of the movie "Last night". My thoughts on the whole thing have changed a lot during the last decade, evolving from bitter “men are heartless and immoral bastards for doing this to women” to conciliatory and philosophical “people do crappy things regardless of their gender, but too bad that they don’t always match up according to their virtues”.

    Still, I sometimes wish that there would be some kind of system or scale that determined whether or not someone would cheat on his or her partner based on [whatever] fixed parameters. Although I’ve never been cheated on (not that I know about) or vice versa, experiences of my girl-friends and women in my family still make me flinch internally. Real sorrows, real blows that no one (including the unfaithful party) really gets and is able to explain. And those “opportunity presented itself” reasons (a.k.a. “it just happened”) don’t make it any easier. As you stated, Autumn, the questions remain. Why? What did I/they do wrong? What could have prevented this from happening? And I feel quite sad that there can’t be 100% certainity. At all. Because I guess it’s just the way life is – like weather forecast. I just have to find a way to cope with it.

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    1. "Still, I sometimes wish that there would be some kind of system or scale that determined whether or not someone would cheat on his or her partner based on [whatever] fixed parameters."
      Wouldn't that be glorious? I've relaxed a lot in my old age, but something I still wish people came with was a guide book. Love is terrifying sometimes. When I was cheated on, I know the "why HER?" question was what eventually killed our relationship. I could get over the cheating, but not over his lack of explaination.

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    2. This is an interesting article. I have never been physically cheated on (that I know of) but men I have dated in the past have been infatuated with/attracted to other women. One even went so far as to give someone else his number, though nothing ever came of it as far as I know. In these situations I've found the opposite of your hypothesis was true: They were always *less* attractive then me! Which I think actually bothered me more. I would have been pissed if they were supermodels because I don't tolerate any sort of infidelity, but the fact that they were less attractive felt insulting. Like it was worth fucking things up with me for that person? It wasn't just their physical attractiveness either, they were generally just sort or normal unassuming people. No one had a great career or was really special in any way I could think of. When I asked the guy who gave his phone number out what was so great about this woman that it was worth destroying our relationship he responded with "nothing." and when pressed further with why he would do it then he said simply "because she was non threatening" with an emphasis on the fact that i was not. This leads me to the conclusion that men will most likely cheat with whoever they think is "easy" that they won't have to work as hard for, especially if the current romantic partner is stressing them out. I'm the least controlling person ever in a relationship, in fact I don't want someone to just not cheat on me because they haven't had the opportunity, but when it comes to the idea of a partner possibly straying I'm not threatened by beautiful women. I'm not threatened by successful women. I'm threatened by average women who will be easy to land take my partner's bullshit much more willingly than I will.

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    3. I typed that way too fast, sorry for typos!

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    4. Signe, the topic is indeed a sad, painful one. It is really difficult to find that line between the cynicism you describe and a normal human acceptance that good people sometimes make really dumb mistakes. I don't think there's ever a satisfying explanation.

      Your comment is making me think of the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I think that's true, but not in a way that means one (or one's partner) is always doomed to be a cheater. I was a terrible girlfriend in this regard when I was younger, and it was because I was so eager for validation of my "value" that I sought that validation wherever I could find it. And my temperament was built as such that though I felt bad about it, I was also capable of doing it in the first place. With maturity, I began to see that I couldn't change my impulses or my feelings or my temperament, but my actual behavior was 100% within my control--in fact, it's the only thing that is. The longer my track record goes of sticking to the better behavior, the better I feel, and I now feel like I'm at the point where whatever impulses are there can be swatted away like gnats. I'm guessing that's how people who are not disposed to infidelity deal with the natural attraction that happens no matter how committed one is to one's partner. And I've gotta say, it feels great.

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    5. Cassie, I've fantasized about a bar code that you could scan with potential partners. Like, I can deal with some flaws that other people couldn't--and then there are flaws that, to me, are enormous red flags, whereas for someone else it might be manageable. If only we could scan someone beforehand to see which flaws they really have!

      Delete
    6. Kristine Rose, that makes total sense to me--the "why HER?" factor. I've been cheated on with people who are conventionally less attractive than I am, and people who are more conventionally attractive than I am, and they both stung in different ways. An old boyfriend cheated on me with a woman who was downright unattractive and I found myself having mean-spirited thoughts about her looks--totally understandable given the circumstances, but also not a way I really want to operate in my life, and not something I'm generally prone to.

      The third part of this series deals with this more directly, actually, the subjective question of "the other woman" and her looks, so stay tuned!

      Delete
    7. Yeah, I see what you mean. I think if these people were less attractive but really smart or successful or had something else going for them that I didn't that would have been ok too. But for him to say it was worth throwing our relationship away over someone not remarkable in any way just because it was seemingly less work than being with me really hurt. It made me feel really vulnerable because it didn't matter how pretty or smart I was or tangible things I could work on about myself, I was "too much work" to be worth it.

      Delete
    8. Mark from Boulder windshield, Last year I broke up with my girlfriend due to many misunderstandings and I remember very well how hard I had to fight to get her back. She changed her number, changed her job so that I don’t visit her office and none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go where she stayed but that was way too risky looking at the fact that her parents were very strict and she had three elder brothers and none of them would tolerate a guy who has hurt her sister. I still took my chances, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact prophetharry@ymail.com that he will help me and as my friend said prophet harry helped me to bring back my girlfriend just in 3 days Now I have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life
      MarkRaven

      Delete
  4. "(The frowsy girl in movies never gets laid, but someone’s gonna see her heart of gold, right?)"

    The word "lay" implies passivity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, that's interesting--especially because I've heard it used by men (about women) far more frequently than the other way around.

      Delete
  5. i am miss Tracy from UK, two weeks ago i and my boyfriend had a conflict, so with that he broke up with me saying he no longer wanted to associate with me anymore, i never knew he was interested in working out his marriage with another girl, i was helpless because i loved him so much more than myself, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me, i could not stay without him, i tried to figure things out with him but he is not listening me, he told me that he is no longer interested that i should look for someone else, i tried all my best but things were not working out, so i had no choice than to look around for help, i went into search of spell caster to help me bring him back to me with the help of spell and after searching i actually finalize to work with (ukosespelltemple@yahoo.com) in regards of my lover. after 3 days as he told that my lover will return. my lover returned in surprising way, i was chocked and was so happy I can’t say how much I’m grateful, My lover not only came back to me, but has left his other girl and now has engaged me, we are getting married next month, I don’t know what I would have done without this spell caster you can contact him today on.ukosespelltemple@yahoo.com. is spell is for a better life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My husband and I have been together for about five years. last month we got into an argument because i caught him cheating, i was heartbroken and i used to love him with all my heart, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. i tried everything to repair our relationship but nothing came alright, luckily enough i was browsing on the internet and i saw testimony of clients who talked about Mr Robinson buckler, i thought may be its also one of the scamming spell caster, but my heart insisted on it until i contacted him and i used his spell and it worked so nice, his spell made my husband to take me back as his wife, it also made my man to love me more, anyone who want his or her lover back should contact robinsonbuckler or call him + 19715126745 him

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear friends, my name is Sandra Luis from Canada, i am into business,but it was not bringing out profit as it was supposed to, life was not what living cos things was bad for me financially, i have a beautiful wife with four kids to take care off. i sold my car and most of my property just to keep earns mate and still things was not going easily for me. so i complained to a friend of mine who said he knew a powerful spell caster from Africa called Dr ATILA who can perform magical money spell or good luck or automatic promotion in office, making someone love you back, spells to bring close one in jail or lost back home,healing spell etc.that help straightened his brother life from taking hard drugs. At first i was confused and doubtful, then i decided to give a try and did what Dr ATILA told me to do, to my surprise 3 days later things started going well for me, i got what i ever bargained for, my business was flourishing like never before, i now have enough money to take good care of my family and we are living happily,I thank His greatness .atilahealinghome@yahoo.com for bringing my source to hope and joy with his powerful spell,well if you want to be a living testimony like me or interested in any spell casting you can contact Dr ATILA via this email atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr okojie for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they caste the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr okojie caste on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr okojie for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact drokojiehealinghome@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. he is specialized in solving of other problems including the following:
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) If you need financial assistance.
    (7) If you want the cure of HIV AIDS
    contact him now for immediate solution of your
    problems on Drokojiehealinghome@gmail.com
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  9. my mouth is full of testimony is just like a dream but is real all thanks to papa Dr saulat.
    I will continue to share this testimony sir till the whole world had of it. i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But i complained to my colleague in my place of work and she discuss with me her experience too and how she over come with the help of papa Dr saulat the great messenger God is using to help people, I narrated my problem to Dr saulat about how my Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in Washington DC were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact saulatspellhome@yahoo.com on his personal email address or website http://drsaulatindiaspell.webs.com/ and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to drehiaghe the great messenger to the oracle of dr ehiaghe healing home,I narrated my problem to dr ehiaghe about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact dr ehiaghe on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: ehiaghespellhome@gmail.com and your problem will be solve.


    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello friends, an awesome and amazing testimony about a Great spell caster i really love to share. My name is Wilson Felix from the Canada. Getting my wife back is what i least expected and could never imagine. I and my wife have been married for five years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned away from me and i never knew what was going on, i tried to ask her but she refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused, and i did all my possible best to get her back but it wasn't easy, i thought all hope was lost, and during my search for a way out, a friend of mine who had similar problem told me about a great spell caster called Dr OSAUYI who helped him get back his wife also. I never believe in spell casting in my entire life or a magic because i never thought it will work but i tried to give this man a chance and to my greatest surprise, He cast a spell to bring her back, but today we are back together into a lovely home with three beautiful kids. We are happy together again and i am using this opportunity to tell anyone passing similar situation to contact him on OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM OR YOU CAN CALL HIS CELL PHONE and you will be the next to tell a new testimony.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello am Joyce from UK i wanna thank Dr jarto for what he has done for me at first i taught he was scam but until i just decided to follow my mind.i told him that my ex lover which i loved with all my heart left me for another all Dr jarto did was to laugh and said he will be back to me in 3 days time i taught he was lying on the 3rd day my ex called me and said he wanna see me,i was shocked then he came over to my place and started begging that he was bewitched,immediately i forgives him and now we are back and he his really madly in love with me.All thanks to Dr jarto he indeed wonderful incise you wanna contact him here his is private mail dr.jartospellcaster@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. GREAT DR. OFEMO THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody,
    My name is Lena Adams.am from the United State of America,This is a very happy day of my life with the help of Dr.Ofemo has rendered to me by helping me to get my divorce husband back with his magic power and love spell. i was married for 8 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me, and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Ofemo email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good.he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before,and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really happy with my marriage, what a great celebration. thank you Dr Ofemo who helped a lot, if you need his help you can contact him through email:drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website on http://drofemospelltemple.webs.com.

    ReplyDelete
  14. GREAT DR. OFEMO THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody,
    My name is Lena Adams.am from the United State of America,This is a very happy day of my life with the help of Dr.Ofemo has rendered to me by helping me to get my divorce husband back with his magic power and love spell. i was married for 8 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me, and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Ofemo email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good.he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before,and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really happy with my marriage, what a great celebration. thank you Dr Ofemo who helped a lot, if you need his help you can contact him through email:drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website on http://drofemospelltemple1.webs.com/ .

    ReplyDelete
  15. GREAT DR. OFEMO THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody,
    My name is Lena Adams.am from the United State of America,This is a very happy day of my life with the help of Dr.Ofemo has rendered to me by helping me to get my divorce husband back with his magic power and love spell. i was married for 8 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me, and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Ofemo email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good.he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before,and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really happy with my marriage, what a great celebration. thank you Dr Ofemo who helped a lot, if you need his help you can contact him through email:drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website on http://drofemospelltemple1.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello friends am Sofia Anna by name, i never thought i will happy in my life ever again, i want you all to thank DR GREAT he is a father that takes care of his children the spell caster of our time, he has saved me from a very ugly situation that almost made my life miserable and i want you all to thank him for me,my husband and i have be married for so many years now with children and the relationship was being treathened by a small girl in his working place,she was almost destroying my home i met so many spell casters but to no avail until i met a friend who came from africa and she told me about DR GREAT and i decided to contact him and try him out as i was losing faith in all spell casters, but he told me not to worry that now am in his temple everything will be alright he assured me 100% that his spell has no side effects and that it will work straight and save my home and my marriage and after he has performed the spell cast , my husband came back to us with love and affection and he loved us more and more and he never looked back or none did his love for me waiver, if you are also experiencing this sort of your situation in your home, if your husband is drifting away, if you are experiencing a broken home or you have lost your husband to a young woman outside there then look no further help is here is email (GREATLOVESPELL1@GMAIL.COM)OR GREATLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM YOU CAN CALL HIS NUMBER ON +2347030770456 is ready to help you out okay

    ReplyDelete
  17. My name is Linda Wilson from Canada My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to London for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from London.He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted {Prophet AMEDE} for a love spell prayers and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of {Prophet AMEDE} contact him through his phone number +234-813-264-2680 or email: amedehealingtemple@yahoo.com


    ReplyDelete

  18. I AM DIZZY ALEX FROM UNITED KINGDOM . All Thanks Goes to DR OKAYA i was married to my husband, and we were living fine and happy. it come to an extend that my husband that use to love and care for me, those not have my time again, until i fined at that he was having an affair with another woman, i try to stop him,all my effort was in-vain sadly he divorce me and went for the woman. he live me with three of our kids, i cry all day, i was in pains, sorrow and looking for help. i was reading a news paper, i saw how DR OKAYA help people with his love and reuniting spell. so i decided to contact him and explain my problem to him, he did a love spell that make my husband to come back to me and our kids and never think of the woman. this man is God sent to restore heart break and reunite relationship. may the lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people relationship and any problem they encounter contact him for help OKAYASPELLHELP@YAHOO.COM OR OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM. i promise you that, he will Put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. good luck

    ReplyDelete
  19. BEWARE OF THESE SCAMS!!! DR MALAWI RACUM IS THE ONLY SPELL CASTER TO TRUST!( spellofsolutiontemple@yahoomail.com) will be of great help to you.
    I never believed in spell casting but After 4 years of dating my hobby, he left me because I lost my womb . I felt like my life has come to an end, I almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to the spell caster called Dr Malawi whom i met online after my friend Tracy told me about how he helped her. She testified about how Dr Malawi brought back her Ex in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Malawi's email address. I decided to give Dr Malawi a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Malawi is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... Come to think of it I didn't pay much and all I have to do is send him little 250 dollars which he used in providing the materials used for the spell. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr malawi anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact spellofsolutiontemple@yahoomail.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello my name is mrs Tessy Jerry and am from u s a, i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 2 days my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Great ADAGBA casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Great ADAGBA for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend, ex lover and girlfriend to contact great ADAGBA with this via adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Do you have questions or looking for spells for any of your problem, Either To get your Ex back, Money, Love, Home Problem or Otherwise?. Or Where can I find Real and True Spells?. Email: order100.100@aim.com or call +27743185702 for more information.....

    if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below
    1) Do you want your ex back?
    (2) Do you always have bad dreams?
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office?
    (4) You want women/men to run after you?
    (5) Do you want a child?
    (6) You want to be rich?
    (7) Do you want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever?
    (8) Do you need financial assistance?
    (9) Have you been scammed and you want to recover your lost money?

    If you need or want any information on love or money spells you can get that problem solved today at Spell Of Soluton Temple .... Cast a Wish Spell Now. Need powerful spells. Email. Dr Odudu Spell Of Solution Temple... Via: order100.100@aim.com or call +27743185702 for more information.....

    ReplyDelete
  22. My name is Lucy Andrew would like to share my testimony with permission the public at large about what this man named DR OGUDUGU only has done for me, he has returned to bring my boyfriend Ex lost me with his great spell, together known a John for years and we were for a long time, we love one another, but, suddenly, it told me that it can not continue more and I was so worried in a State of shock after he was looking for ways to get back to a friend mine told me about this man and gave your contact email for me, but I was still in doubt, but I just have to try and really needed my exso we contacted him in my problems, you're not going to believe he prepared this spell and brought to my former lover again and today we are very happy together thanks once more by the GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM that have made for me, if you are out there passing through any of these problems are listed below:
    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) If you always have nightmares.
    (3) you want to be promoted in his office.
    (4) If you want a son.
    (5) If you need financial help.
    (6) If you are suffering from HIV/AIDS
    contact with him now for immediate resolution of any kind of
    problems email GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM

    ReplyDelete
  23. I AM DIZZY ALEX FROM UNITED KINGDOM ,,,I have been in great bondage for about 7 years suffering in the hands of a cheating husband. We were living happily until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her again outside our marriage and before i knew it he stopped caring for his own family, to the extent that he was planning to marry her and divorce me. I cried and reported him to his family members but he never listened to anyone and to cut the story short, i came in search for a real spell caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me and our 2 kids again; on my search i saw people sharing testimony on how their marriage was restored by DR OKAYA and i pick his email and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help me and told me never to worry. After he had finished casting the spell, on the second day, they both had a quarrel and he beat up his girlfriend and he came back home begging me to forgive him that his eyes are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never to cheat on me again. I am so happy that i did not lose him to the girl and all appreciation goes to Dr. OKAYA for his great work. You are a Great spell caster and to you all that are faced with this or similar problem to this, please contact him now on OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM OR OKAYASPELLHELP@YAHOO.COM

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hello my name is Joanah SILVER from GERMANY, I never believe in love spells until I experience dr.malawi and after he cast a love spell for me, my Ex husband who left me and 2 of our kids for 3years called me to apologize for the pain that he has caused me and till today we are living a happy family, if you need a right place to solve your problems contact dr. malawi is the right choice. he is a great man that have been casting spells with years of experience, and his spell is absolutely harm free. he cast spells for different purposes like:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/ men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care
    IF You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    Contact him today on: spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com

    Yours Sincerely,

    ReplyDelete
  25. My name is Handford Ann,i base in canada.i want to share my wonderful testimony on how i got back my ex-lover of my life back, who i sworn to be with until when he left me to another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us yet things where getting worse and i love him so much and there is nothing i could do to get my ex back until i met a testimony share by Maria from USA on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought his ex lover back within 48hours and i decide to give it a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for Maria and i have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one i met was a real spell caster who help me to solve my problem i have no solution to,i introduce many of my best friends that have a similar problems,and their problem were solve with the great help of dr.Trust.they get back their ex within 48 hours.i am so happy that my ex is back to me again,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Trust.if you have similar problem i will advice you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face ask he did to me and others.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call +2348156885231) what will i have done if not the great help of dr.trust. Thanks Handford Ann from canada.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I enjoy when i spend money on anything i get quality results in return, This is one of the things that you can be guaranteed if you contact Dr.Zabaza through these details: +2348182620374 or via email: zabaza.logan@yahoo.com for assistance in getting your lover back. Few weeks ago when i contacted Dr.Zabaza i was a bit skeptical about the result that i was going to get after sending him money for the job, But when i visited his website at

    www.zabazalogan.webs.com

    Then i concluded my mind and proceed with the payment. After 48hours that DR.ZABAZA has cast the spell i didn't only receive a phone call from my lover but i also receive some romantic gift him also. All these proved to me that DR.ZABAZA is one in a kind

    ReplyDelete